Wolves It was down 'round the middle of summer when old Billy Bathgate put
on his boots for the last time. None of us was expectin' that Billy
would up and expire on us. We was just heading' out to Californiy to
cash in on the gold rush when Billy just fell off his horse, deader 'n a
doonail. We didn't even notice till Lil' Tom Longhorn turned 'round and
saw that Billy weren't up on his horse. Took us durn near an hour to
find his body, an' by then it were all covered with dust and sand. He
looked like he'd been dead more'na week, when he only deceased hisself a
coupla minutes ago.
Now ole' Tucker, he says he thinks we should just bury 'im and not
tell nobody. You sees, we's just poor cowfolk, trying to make a living.
but the law don't like us none, so's they's always tryin' to blame us
for all the happenin's going on when we're in town. they'd almsot
hanged us in Tombstone for robbin' the bak. And we hadn't robbed a bank
in months. Just plain bad business, if ya asks me, blamin' innocent
folks just cause they happens to 'ave done a few things b'fore.
Anyways, I was all for that idea, didn't want no more troubles, and
Billy wouldna cared. He never cared 'bout nuthin anyhow. Lol' Tom,
though, he thought we should bury Billy propper-like, with a pine box
and flowers an' all. I didn't see no point, seeing how Billy was too
dead to 'preciate it an all, but Tom was so durn persistan that me and
Tucker gave in.
So we three hauled Billy all the way to Californy. Billy hadn't
smelt too good when he were alive, (he used to say that bathing were bad
for your 'ealth,) but dead, he smelt badder than a whole clan of angry
skunks. We didn't 'ave to worry 'bout no predators or thieves, 'cause
the smell made 'em fall down 'fore they could get near us. Finally we
got to Cliforniy. We three pooled our money and bought Billy a right
proper pine box, we even go the old coot a marker an' 'ad it engraved
all proper-like. Told the engravers 'xactly what to write, I did
myself. They puts "William Bathgate. Drinkin' rotgut with God Now." I
kept it simple, so's nobody would be thinking I was all sentimental.
I's the one who had to write it, 'cause I's the only one with an
education to speak of.
Anyways, Billy got his proper funeral, but the rest of us didn't
have no money left to buy our claim. So we's robbed the bank. We
didn't enjoy it, or nuthin;. It was just somethin' we had to do. The
banker done said we was the politest robers to hit the bank that month.
'Lil Tom heard him wrong. He thought the man said we was the ugliest
robbers, so Tom shot him. I 'poligized to the people, but Tucker
thought it were funny. We had to go to another Cliforny town to stake
our claim then, but that were alright. WE was used to traveling. It
weren't never gonna be the same without Billy, though. He was the only
one who 'preciated me as teh educated man I am.